


little grey flag

by bramblecircuit



Category: Hustle Cat (Visual Novel)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Other, [walking backwards] and here you see me using an age-gap relationship to cope, nothing graphic, past sexual abuse implied, they/them for avery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21741172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bramblecircuit/pseuds/bramblecircuit
Summary: “You know how much I like you. It’s…” Avery tilted their head, pressing down a gasp. “It’s that I always feel so…” Graves tugged on the edge of their sweater, rubbing circles on their collarbone. “…traumatized.”Avery and Graves talk about the future.
Relationships: Avery Grey/Graves
Kudos: 17





	little grey flag

“You don’t understand.” Avery nuzzled the side of Graves’ hand, their eyes still closed. “I’m tired of wanting people older than me.” They sighed as Graves dug his fingers deeper into their hair. His touch took the world away. It glazed the windows and locked the doors with heavy keys. Every time he held them. Every time they brushed skin. 

Graves let his fingers slip to Avery’s neck. It was all they could do to hold back a whimper. 

“I’ve become rather smitten with you, Avery. I hope you’re not saying you want to end this.”

“No, no.” Avery could barely force the words out. “I’m saying…oh, fuck, could you—could you—”

“Do that again?” They could hear the tease in his voice. He returned his hand to the top of their head and worked his slow, aching way down. “You were saying?”

“You know how much I like you. It’s…” Avery tilted their head, pressing down a gasp. “It’s that I always feel so…” Graves tugged on the edge of their sweater, rubbing circles on their collarbone. “… _traumatized_.” 

It was almost easier to be lonely. Relegating their desire to fantasy. Clutching a pillow to their chest. Trying to ignore how fast their pulse climbed at the thought of being touched. 

They didn’t know what to call it. It wasn’t sexual, not exactly—or maybe it was. Maybe they were too scared to admit that this was their substitute for the action so raggedly made traumatic. 

And now, there they were, practically moaning into the shirt of a man twice their age, all because he wasn’t shy about contact. 

Graves pressed a kiss to their head, his hands still tracing loops on Avery’s chest. “We can talk about this later.”

“Hey—” Avery pulled Graves’ hands away. They kissed them, then let them go. “I need you to hear me right now.”

They tried to read his expression. A little hurt, a little worried. A little disappointed (maybe more than a little). Graves was thirty-nine. Thirty. Nine! Shouldn’t he have a better handle on things by now? Shouldn’t he know that Avery was laying bare their greatest fear, their worst insecurity?

Or maybe growing up doesn’t make other people any more intelligible. 

“It’s just tough sometimes how different you are from me. How I’m experiencing all this with someone who already knows it. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.” Avery strained their voice to be soft, to be soothing. “I _like_ that you’re my mentor in all this. But I’m always so…”

Vulnerable. A bit of fabric with a claw hooked into it.

“If you haven’t thought about this yourself…” Avery cut themself off before the crack in their voice split them in two. “Please tell me you’ve thought about this.”

Graves sighed, resettling himself on the couch. “Of course I’ve thought about it. But it’s exactly the difference that makes me like you.”

“Are you worried at all?” They whispered it. They leaned forward, their whole body pleading. 

“I worry about your worry.” 

“I just don’t want to be a pattern.” Avery wiped their face with the back of their hand. “I’ve always wanted this. I still want this. But it feels…”

“How does it feel?” Graves touched the side of their face. “Does it feel wrong, being with me?”

“You could hurt me so bad if you wanted.” The tears were full force now. “You could _ruin_ me.”

“Oh, my dear.” Graves pulled Avery close. “I know I could. I know.”

It was the surrender that Avery loved the most. The letting go, the almost undoing of it. To turn their body over to someone with the power to reenact their worst fear—and to have it _not happen_. 

“I want you to love me.” They said it between sobs. “I want you to hold me forever.” They listened to Graves’ heartbeat until their breathing slowed and everything was a little less urgent. “I don’t want to breathe so wrong.”

“My little cat.” Avery bit their lip at the pet name. “Do you need something from me?” 

“I think so. Maybe…” They turned their feelings over in their head. “If I ever outgrow this…”

“Outgrow me?” The ache in Graves’ voice was tinged with understanding. 

“Let me go. Not yet.” Avery laced their hands around Graves’ neck. “But when it’s time, don’t keep me around. Let me go.” 

They sat together, imperfectly intertwined, until the light outside the windows faded. Avery waited to feel better. 

Graves waited for the gap between them to grow.


End file.
